How comparing and judging limits YOU

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What did you think when you read the words comparing and judging? Anything positive? I bet you didn’t and neither would I. Which just goes to show how easily we judge. I just looked up the origin of the word comparison. It actually means something that sounds much nicer, as in make equal with or to form in pairs. Judging comes from Latin iudus + dicere, meaning to say right or to say law. In any case, how we use the words today is not always what they originally meant. What is worse though, is that we use words to compare. To judge. To create distance. To separate. There is another way though…

 

My story of comparing and judging

 

I have my own history of comparing and judging. Having spent a childhood moving around and going from one to another primary school, I did loads of comparing. My survival mechanism was simple: observe, understand and fit in. This in itself required quite a lot of comparing and judging.

 

Was I the only one compairing and judging?

Of course not.

 

My classmates were doing the exact same, except they were doing it to me. And pending the outcome of that 5-second activity of comparing and judging upon our first encounter, we’d be friends or not. That in itself is not a bad thing.

Long lasting friendships and romances have started on the basis of a single glance. One look. One smile. One giggle.

It becomes painful if our judging locks someone else into a box. A box that we have defined ourselves. If we use the power of words to make someone else believe they are what we believe them to be, we lock them up in a box.

The power of words is enormous. I love words. And I love the power words have. But I’d rather use them to make whole, to heal, to connect and to include then to compare or judge.

 

What about your story of comparing and judging?

 

Can you remember the last time you judged someone?

Or compaired yourself with someone else?

And on what side of the equation did you end up?

 

‘Cause either side is a loss in my humble ‘non-judgemental’ opinion.

 

I believe that all of us know what it feels like to think we are better than someone else. And I bet at the same time, a great many people have at one moment or another, experienced pangs of pain thinking they were not as good, slim, smart, quick, good looking or wise as someone else.

 

Uniqueness

 

I believe what hurts the most is if we put ourselves inside a box. A home made box. A box of our own making. A box constructed out of every single thought we had in which we judged ourselves. I bet you again that a great many people can build a life size box if those thoughts somehow magically materialized right now. Comparing ourselves to others, we miss out on that wonderful being that we are, in all its uniqueness.

The story of originality I dropped last week does not mean that I do not believe we are Unique. I do. In sincerely believe we are all unique and magical human beings. Dr Seuss has a wonderful way of expressing this view… Are you being Youer than you? Right now? As you read these words? Mmmm… and if not. Why not? And if yes. How do you feel?

 

The Butterfly Circus

Enclosed fragment beautifully portrays the story of compairing and judging and uniqueness. See for yourself.

 

 

[vc_video link=”https://youtu.be/y_MCwlY6zzg”]

 

 

 

At one point the main character, Will says: “but they are different from me.” And that is true. He is unique. He is very very unique in his own right. It’s those two words that do him in. But. Different. He compares. He judges. He has the most important bridge of all to burn… That of compairing himself to others. That of judging himself. That of thinking himself into a box. A very small box.

Another major event for Will is crossing the water. He hesitates. Slips. Falls. Goes down under. And comes out another man. Ready to live. He “just” had to get outside of his own box.

The power of Your Uniqueness is immense. And who knows.

Maybe your uniqueness will inspire others…

Maybe there is someone, somewhere, who needed you to be you to be inspired to become who they already are. Unique too.

What do you wish to cross right now? What obstacle is in your way? Do you need help to cross? Whose help are you waiting for? Who believes in you, right now, more than you do? That happens a lot. I would not be surprised if you have a friend who believes in you maybe more than you believe in yourself. And can you be that friend? To someone else? Can you be the circus master who brings out the best in someone else?

Believing in each other rather than compairing and judging. Is a great gift. And it starts at home. Right in front of your own mirror. Love what you see. A beautiful and unique being. A star shining its own bright light. Ready to perform its own show, in its own circus. Have fun!

Happy You-ing!

And, as always, feel invited to share, rate, tweet or comment on this post, or, suggest a topic you wish me to write about!

Ciao Madeleine

PS – the actor portraying Will is Nick Vujicic who is living his life completely out of his own box… some example, for some people…

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